People with herpes should wear stickers.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
