Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
