I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
