I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
