so that wasnt chicken after all
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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