Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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