I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
