OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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