the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
