we have officially lost it.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
