Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
