Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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