Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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