wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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