It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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