Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
