Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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