I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
