none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
