I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
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just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
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We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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