butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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