Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
