I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Someone signed my nipple.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
