Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
