he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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