A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
