I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
