yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
