if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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