This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
