If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
