Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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