I wish i was in the wii world.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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