Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
