Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
