Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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