Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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