Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
