quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
