I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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