i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you would pick up someone in the library
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
