Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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