Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
