Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
