So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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