woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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