so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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