Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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