New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
