I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
