"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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