I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
