I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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