The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
