I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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