once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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