what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize