I just made out with a guy for $7.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
