Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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