i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
