I smell stomach acid.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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